Roadkill Cactus (Consolea rubescens)
Roadkill Cactus (Consolea rubescens)
Roadkill Cactus (Consolea rubescens)

Roadkill Cactus (Consolea rubescens)

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Consolea rubescens is a nearly spineless (read: pain free!) cactus that eventually becomes a tree up to 20 foot (6 m) tall tree, with a trunk up to 6 inches (15 cm) thick.

Its flattened bumpy paddles give it the name 'Road Kill Cactus” for obvious reasons: It is so thin and flat that it looks like it has been run over by a car. It even looks like it has tire tracks across it!  To make matters even funnier,  their "arms" grow upwards and make the cactus look like its waving to you, or at least generally excited to be hanging out. (The arms will also randomly fall off every once in a while - don't be alarmed. You can propagate the plant this way). 

The smallish flowers are orange and appear in spring.

Allow soil to dry completely and stay dry for a few days before watering again. 
Plant in rocky soil like lithops mix or succulent mix with added drainage
Fertilize lightly during the growing season
Water less in the winter 
Bright indirect light to full sun is ideal.